I have bills just like everyone else considering I just moved into my first place from a place I've called home for 18 years. It's not all scary to me like everyone else's experiences that I've heard. I'm enjoying my life and it's a beautiful world and I'm so lucky to be living where I am with many places to go. I honestly can sit here and imagine my life never being boring again.
I've noticed that making a change of environment changed me completely into a new positive person that is always energized and smiling. I love cracking jokes and making people laugh yeah you can say I am a "class clown" now, but I wasn't like this when I was in high school. I've dreamed of this happiness for a long time and I'm finally enjoying everyone and everything in my life. I'm going to be adventurous (but careful) in what I do in California. I could go crazy and go skydiving or bungee jumping and I can't wait to say I lived my life to the fullest.
I'm a little old school and I know what I want, because of the way I was when I was growing up. I had a lenient mother that let me do whatever I wanted to and I love her so much. All I want to do is give my family and I the happiness we all deserve. I'm not out here bragging about making money. Everyone is here for different reasons including me. Keeping financially stable is difficult especially if you're in a job that isn't very well guaranteed, since anything could happen. We all know there are huge risks in doing what we are doing in this type of industry. So being able to keep up and being able to pay your bills is important. There's nothing worse than trying to make your life a good one and you get into debt when you can't pay your bills. No one enjoys living out on the streets, are you kidding me? I don't think they say "here, take all my money". Money is the most important thing in America and it's dead set in everyone's mind to make their everyday priority about money. Yes we know money is important, but that's not the only reason life is worth living for. We all need to be able to have the traits of living a way that is set for your own standards.
Having characteristics to live everyday life for example I have the trait of making my own independent decisions by not relying on anyone, but myself and cared what I accomplished in life. I have learned so much that caused an extreme amount of sophistication in my characteristics and it's something that I've been aware of for many years. I didn't grow up with the mind of a teenager like everyone else, but I'm not saying I didn't make my fair share of mistakes and bad choices along the way and it will continue that way as life goes on I believe that nobody is perfect. I feel as though I went through Highschool with a mind like an adult being mature in a way that I've felt like I've been through hell and back already and few times more than usual. God has dealt me a very lucky hand, but Karma is speeding right around the corner so I've had my unlucky times to kick me down. I wasn't afraid to drop everything that was currently going on in my life at the time and go out to experience life the moment I felt ready to do that and I went for the enjoyment of life and my ambition to unleash my personality express it to fans. So making life go this way for me, the way I want it in my head to go, and making the best out of my life is my priority and making other people's life one moment better a step at a time.
I realize the good in life and I move on and live my life and that's what sometimes seperates me from other people. I can easily move on and let go of the past and continue to fulfill my life and not make other people's life unenjoyable or unlivable which I know is the way some people are but aren't aware and that's how I am saying I am different. I separate myself from others by being aware. Being aware of my surroundings, environment, mood, additude, personality, vibe, ora, and body language. I take in account that everyone is different and was raised in different ways then I was and throughout time that will be shown to everyone as time progresses.
In pornography the thing that baffles me the most is the attention that is received. I was home for thanksgiving and my male cousin and I took my mother's boyfriend's daughter to the Mall of America to shop for Black Friday. We were all bonding and spending time going to the places we all wanted to visit and buy from. I walked into a jewelry store with them and went straight to the JJ earrings I saw and went to check out. These boys came up to me and asked to get their photo with me and I realized they recognized me from the porn world. I realized my cousin just watched this go down and felt a little funny about it. I thought it was pretty fun though to have my first experience be in my home state at the MOA. If these guys are out there reading this and you know who you are, please reach out to me and post those photos if you still have them!